The saying goes, 'third times a charm', implying that on the third attempt at something, success is accomplished. The movie Sucker Punch is Zack Snyder's first original film, and if that saying holds any bearing after having seen the film, then I've got good news: One down, one more to go until we get a good movie. 'Sucker Punch' certainly lives up to its title, acting as a cheap shot to your wallet and intelligence by lazily tying together scenes completely devoid of excitement or talent and daring to call itself "entertainment". Sucker Punch is just too much of a good thing. It feels like a 2nd grader, who decided that in order to make the best cake ever, you just throw in all your favorite things together and top it all off with frosting. Sadly, all you get is your favorite things in a big, ruined and frankly, useless pile.
Once the music video intro is over, we're introduced to the main setting of the film...sort of. Our main character (dubbed "Babydoll", because that's obviously the "empowering" thing to call her) is admitted to a psych ward by her stepfather, and arranges for her to get lobotomized so he will inherit everything. To cope with her current situation, she creates a fantasy world to escape the harshness of her situation. In this fantasy world, she imagines the ward to be a brothel and the other patients to be the girls that work there. She goes even further by creating a third fantasy of epic warzones and battle sequences to represent her dancing.First of all, the action scenes that represent her dancing are straight out of a video game, literally. Now, I need to explain that I strongly dislike that phrase, "it looks like a big video game", as it is thrown around in Hollywood more than "love" is thrown around in high school. But in the case of 'Sucker Punch', it feels destined to be used here. There is zero risk or tension, because characters go flying off walls and through buildings without a scratch on them. Besides, nothing that's happening is even real, it's just one big metaphor.
The director clearly had several cool ideas for music videos, decided to string them together and just said "it's a dream" for justification. It's hard to tell if Snyder's remixes of classic songs are pretentious, stupid, or just pretentiously stupid. It'd be easy to assume Door #3, after learning that this movie is supposed to contain a message of "female empowerment".
Hear that, ladies? Be empowered! By all the half-naked, dirty-talking, seductive ladies working in a brothel and use sexual enticing behavior instead of our wit and intelligence!
All kidding aside, all our female leads are reduced to nothing more than cat girl nicknames that you'd find cycling through a frat boy's cell phone. The action scenes aren't even real, and even so, they're so fantastically over-the-top that it saps the movie of any fun. The plot to the movie Sucker Punch revolves around a shopping list of random things that are about as animated as the acting. Maybe Mr. Snyder should stick to adapting things, from now on.